So, ’tis the season for gift guides: perfectly curated lists from tastemakers and influencers, trying to make your holiday shopping just a liiiiiiiittle easier. Not wanting to feel left out, I’ve created my own, Slacker-inspired gift guide that’ll simplify your life and make the recipients swoon.
Just kidding. I’m the world’s crappiest gift-giver.
That said, I try really hard every year to find thoughtful gifts…but usually procrastinate, then panic, and before I know it I’m frantically shoving 37 scarves into 37 bags to give the 37 special people in my life different versions of the same exact gift. Almost worse, I’ll occasionally find The One Perfect Gift™ for a single person, and then feel extra guilty that the other 36 presents are a bit generic.
So despite the blood, sweat, and tears I’ve poured into making this gift guide…maybe use it as a last resort, mmkay?
This smells amaaaaaaaazing, and it’s great for dry winter skin.
Mom: She’s your amazing grace, right? (Just pretend that makes sense, thanks.)
Just look at this bad boy!
Dad: An all-in-one breakfast sandwich maker? Hells yeah.
This is especially great if he failed Home Ec.
Brother: Get your bro a Brother sewing machine! Get it?! He’ll love the pun! You’re so funny!
Get it, “sister?” Another pun! I’m on a roll!
Sister: Give your sister the gift of Whoopi…wait…what? Never mind. Forget I said anything.
This boombox is pretty sexy, not gonna lie.
Grandparents: Go retro, and give your grandparents a sleek boombox, complete with CDs you’ve burned of all their old-timey favorites.
Waylon Jennings, anyone? (For real though, this can be a really sweet, low-tech gift and it’s got that “homemade” touch.)
If your kid doesn’t like dinosaurs you’re doing something wrong.
Nieces/nephews: I don’t care how old your nieces and/or nephews are, every kid loves dinosaurs. They’ll sleep tight with this bitchin’ dino light.
If your kid looks like a smarty pants, you look like a smarty pants.
Kids: It’s never too early to prep your kids for med school, or at the very least start grooming a top-notch pub trivia partner.
Classic design, clean lines: the perfect place to plan an amazing gift for that special someone without consulting a crappy gift guide made by a crazy person.
Partner: if you’re coming to me, the world’s worst gift giver, looking for a present for your romantic partner…you’re SOL. In the doghouse. So, here’s a nice sleeper sofa for your future nights spent on the couch.